Getting unlucky in Kentucky (and West Virginia)
Miles Biked:70
65
70
65
81
0
Since the last time I have written on this blog 7 people on this trip have been involved in accidents. Two involved hospital visits, one a car, and HBC blood can be found on state highways from West Virginia to Kentucky. But don't worry......I am having a blast......and I have both my legs!
So Long West Virginia
Before leaving for this trip I tried as best I could to stereotype every state I would be traveling through so I could be as insulting as possible when I arrived in churches and communities......well I didn't try to stereotype, it just happens. As I biked through Spencer and Hurricane (pronounced Hur-uh-kuhn) I realized that all of my visualizations were coming true. On our ride through the hills of WV to Hurricane we headed into country roads, and some of us thought we would never make it out alive. The first sign of trouble was early in the day when we took a turn and a pit bull with 3 of his closest dog friends were waiting for us around the bend. These weren't dogs barking in the side yard.....no, these dogs had seen a couple bikers pass and knew fresh meat was on its way. They positioned themselves in the middle of the road, and made quick moves for my ankles! Luckily, my speed and girly screaming helped me pass this first attack........first being the most important word in that sentence. It appears there are nifty tricks to fend off attacking dogs:
1) Andy Wagner Approach- squirt water bottle in face
2)Steven Approach-Scream at the top of your lungs at the dog, obscenities help
3) Ben Handelman Approach- Scream like a girl and bike as fast as you can
Late in the day when I thought the worst of the dogs had passed I was biking by myself......I heard a loud breathing to my left.....when I turned my head to look, a black dog was half way in the air going straight for my bike.....I soiled my bike shorts and biked to Hurricane as fast as I could. However dogs were not the only problem in West Virginia.....we had hit windy roads.
Andy was the first victim of what would become a week of mishaps on the road. He spaced out.....and went off the road over his handle bars as he fell into the gutter on the side of the road. The next day Reuben took a windy turn behind me too fast, skidded out and stopped just in time for the pick up truck going the other way to miss his head. At lunch that same day Chris and Andrea tangled as Andrea got excited to eat, turned, and Chris rammed into the back of her causing him to go over his handle bars. Everyone was fine minus some battle wounds.....until the next day. Miriam had trouble handling a nasty curvy downhill that cost her a large portion of skin by her elbow and a prize of 8 stitches. Alex bonked 1 mile from Hurricane, fell going up a hill and lost some skin (although it was not that bad of an injury) of his own. The last accident was the scariest in Kentucky. Ali was coming down a hill when a 17 year old decided it would be a smart idea to pass, then turn without a blinker into a gas station directly in front of her. Ali then proceeded to slam into the side of the car grasping onto the open back seat window. As a portion of her upper body went into the car the rest of her body bounced off the metal......and she managed to limp away with no scratches, just one hell of a bruised side. The Olive Hill police officer decided that since she was from CA....the 17 year old driver was not at fault for anything. Apparently it is OK to have bikers slam into the side of your car in Eastern Kentucky. In the end, everyone is fine, just maybe a little sore and shook up from those fun country hill roads.
While early in the trip I was ecstatic for a middle finger, nothing could prepare for the joy I experienced in West Virginia! As Ali, Lisa, Nick and I biked after lunch a car zoomed by us and threw a can of Budweiser out the window back at us. As it spun in the air beer spilled out like a water fall display at a Las Vegas Hotel. The can crashed to the pavement pretty close to Ali in the front and we all has quite the laugh when we realized the can had been thrown from the DRIVER SIDE! Oh West Virginia....I miss you.
We had a short stay in Louisa Kentucky with a church whose pastor was pro abortion and pro gay marriage. I'm not sure how he is going to explain that to God when he retires....Just before going to sleep the pastor told us how his church was used in the revolutionary war as a hospital, and while recently redoing the carpet they found old blood stains. He concluded by telling us that the church was haunted and strange noises could be heard at night......what a great night's sleep I had!
From Louisa we biked to Morehead, home of Morehead State Univeristy, where we found Phil Simms' jersey hanging. Pat and I tried to explain just how neat a fact that was to everyone but while doing so I noticed the 16 enormous trophies to the right of the jersey. It appears Moorehead State is also home of 16 of the last 19 Co-Ed Division 1 cheerleading National Champions. NOW THAT is impressive.
THE CAVES
My bike had been giving me some trouble which caused me to leave a little late the morning of the ride to Morehead. That put me in a riding group near the back of the pack, but I knew people were heading to some Caves that apparently were not too far from the route. As Steven and I arrived at the state park we saw about 8 HBC lined in the parking lot. I looked at the surrounding area and listened.......no HBC. So we headed down to the trails. At the head of the trail was some stairs that lead down to a door......but caves don't have doors....and this door was locked.....so I told Steven "they must be on the loop trail". The loop trail was about a mile loop that headed to a very cool ridge with rock formation.....but there were no caves......and no HBC riders. Along the route we found out the caves cost money to see and a tour left at 1pm (way too late for any HBC-ers to wait around for) When I got back to the parking lot, everyone was there along with tourists gathering for the tour.
"Hey, where were you guys?"
Corey: "Nowhere, we just walked around"
"You just walked around? Did you see that cool ridge on the trail"
Pat: "No."
As the weird behavior continued between my question and answer question we decided to head out. 5 seconds out of the park Lisa explained to me they hadn't just walked "around". Instead they ran into a local guide "Rawley" (that is spelled wrong) who decided that he would SHOW THEM THE CAVES FOR FREE. It appears while I was walking around in the 95 degree heat my fellow riders were several feet below me in a 65 degree cave. I was almost more in shock that caves in fact have doors! Either way, I missed out.....until we hit Morehead.
Rawley, who happened to be from Morehead decided to meet us in town and show us a bar with $1 bottles. The place was very nice.....and somehow we bought them out of beer. The night was spent talking about rocks, caves, Phil Simms, Cheerleading, and biking. The one fact that really had me under the table however was Morehead's leading industry is "hard wood". According to Rawley you know you are no longer a local when you can say the name of the town with a straight face. I'm not sure I had such a dirty perception of the town name until after talking with our local cave guide. Anywho, Rawley rules and I am now in Lexington Kentucky trying to keep my eyes open.
We have been staying in amazing home stays set up by Francis. Francis is from Lexington and seems pretty excited to be home for a couple days. I received my credit card and debit card so I am officially off the Bank of Pat Muha. Mr and Mrs. Morenz even sent me homemade goodies from Thomaston! They would be happy to know their son single handedly powered me through the last few days to get here! Today we did a habitat build and visited a really awesome horse farm called Taylor Made. We looked at some studs and some horses that I felt I did not deserve to be petting. Well......off to Shelbyville and Louisville. I apologize for poor grammar and spelling due to the lateness! Currently I'm seeing double. I'm looking forward to the rolling hill of the Blue grass state! I love reading the comments!
-Ben
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